Getting into a relationship can be so exciting. At the beginning of the relationship, during the honeymoon phase, every guy can feel like “the one.” But everyone is different, which means that not everyone is compatible, and sometimes you don’t realize this until you’ve been together for a while and you start to learn more about each other. Try going through this list, and see if you can recognize any of these signs he’s the one!
It’s important to remember that nobody is perfect. No man can do every one of these things, all the time. So if he isn’t checking every box, that doesn’t mean he’s not the one for you. However, if he’s not checking any of them, it might be time to consider your options.
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21 Signs He’s The One For You
1. He supports you in all that you do
No matter what it is, your job, your hobby, or your dream business you want to start. He’s there to cheer you on, even if all he has to offer is encouraging words. Encouraging words from someone you love is sometimes the most important thing when it comes to accomplishing your goals.
2. He’s honest with you
Honesty is so important. Without honesty there is no trust. There’s different kinds of honesty that are all so important. For instance, being honest about feelings, level of commitment, and even simple things like if he likes the shirt you just bought. If he lies about something, even if it’s small, it breaks trusts and lessens credibility. It’s better to have someone who can be honest with you in every situation.
3. He shares similar values with you
This one is one of the MOST IMPORTANT ones. Having different values from your significant other can be a big cause for separation. This can be difficult because some people’s core values change as they get older.
To know if you and your partner have the same core values, first you need to determine what your core values are. These are the things in life that are the MOST important to you, the things you WANT to be the focus of your life. Here’s a list of core value examples.
If one of your core values is faith, or having a relationship with God, and your significant other doesn’t value that at all, this could definitely cause problems in the future.
This doesn’t mean you have to have the exact same core values, that’s almost impossible. But it at leasts helps spark a conversation between the two of you, and make a plan for how it’s going to work in the future when certain differences come into the picture.
4. You have some similar life goals
This could include where you want to live, what kind of lifestyle you want to live, and whether or not you want kids. It’s going to be hard to be with someone forever if you really want kids and they never want kids. That can likely cause resentment and bitterness.
5. He shows you off
If he shows you off to everyone that means he thinks you’re attractive, respectable, and he is grateful to have you. It’s definitely flattering and it means a lot. This could be as simple as taking you out with friends, making a facebook post about you, or even being excited about taking you to meet his family.
6. He’s proud of you
It feels amazing to have someone feel proud of you. Whether it’s because of something huge like graduating college or getting your dream job, or something small like getting your work out in that day. There is so much to be proud of no matter the individual, so he should be able to find plenty of things to be proud of you for.
7. He speaks your love language
This is important, because speaking someone’s love language is the best way to show someone that you know them, you care about them, and you love them. It’s easy to feel misunderstood if your partner isn’t showing love for you in a way that resonates with you. So first, you need to determine what your love language is.
The 5 love languages are:
- Words of Affirmation (compliments, words of appreciation, etc.)
- Acts of Service (doing the dishes for you, washing your car, letting you sleep in, etc.)
- Gifts (flowers, jewelry, or something as simple as your favorite candy bar, etc.)
- Quality Time (watching a movie, going on a date, just laying together, etc.)
- Physical Touch (hugs, kisses, holding hands, sexy time, etc.)
It’s very possible your partner can be trying to show you love using THEIR love language. For instance, if their love language is physical touch, but yours is words of affirmation, and they are all over you, you will likely get frustrated because you feel like all they want is sex or to be physical and they never express any gratitude. When in reality they are trying to express their love, they’re just not going about it in a way that speaks best to you.
It’s important that your partner speaks your love language, and you speak theirs. Check out this article to learn more about love languages.
8. He’s willing to compromise
Compromise is everything, especially in a relationship. It is impossible that the two of you will agree on everything all the time. This becomes even more so after getting married, moving in together, having kids, and so on. There is a lot to disagree on.
If the two of you can always try to find a compromise, there will be so much less resentment in the relationship, less fighting, and better communication.
9. He listens… like really listens
There is nothing more annoying than talking to someone who isn’t listening to you. And there is nothing more attractive than someone who makes eye contact with you while you’re talking, and truly cares about what you have to say.
10. He takes an interest in your interests
This doesn’t mean he has to start doing all the same hobbies as you by any means. But when you want to talk to him about one of your interests, or about something that happened, it’s pretty important that he at least takes the time to listen. It can also be fun for you to both explore each other’s hobbies and interests and see if you can find some common interests.
11. You find him attractive
He in no way has to be the hottest on the block. But it is nice to find the person you want to be with attractive, because intimacy is an important part of any relationship. And attraction isn’t just a physical quality. Being kind and nurturing is an attractive quality, being a gentleman is an attractive quality, etc.
12. He understands and respects your boundaries
Boundaries are SO important. If someone doesn’t respect your boundaries they need to be corrected or kicked to the curb. If you let someone walk all over you and continue to cross your boundaries it will cause so much resentment, which will weigh heavily on the relationship.
That being said, it’s very important that you make it very clear what your boundaries are, and that you will not allow anyone to cross them. And if someone does, make sure you’ve made them aware they are crossing a boundary. If they continue to do so, they clearly don’t respect you and you don’t need them in your life. Boundaries are there to keep us safe, healthy and happy.
13. You respect him
You can’t be in a lasting, happy relationship with someone that you don’t respect. It will cause arguing, resentment and bitterness. If you are struggling to respect someone, try focusing on things that they do that make them a good person, or that they do for you out of love and generosity.
14. He knows how to fight
There is a right way to argue and a wrong way to argue. Name-calling, belittling, ignoring each other, and becoming physically or emotionally abusive are all the wrong way. The right way is using assertive communication to express what is bothering you and what you would like to see change. And then, be willing to hear them out as well without becoming hostile. This is one of the first things they talk about in marriage therapy!
15. You can trust him with anything
Trust is so important. And there is a lot you have to trust in a partner. There are some serious things, like trusting that your partner will be faithful, and be a good father and provider. You also need to be able to trust him with your feelings, and trust that you can tell him anything.
And then there are some less serious things like trusting that he can handle going to the store and picking out the right pasta sauce when you forgot it and you can’t leave the house because everything else is cooking.
16. He’s emotionally and physically stable
It’s not good for you or the other person to get into a relationship when they’re not emotionally or physically stable. Emotionally, if someone’s struggling they should seek help and get some stability before they get into a relationship. You can’t pour from an empty cup. And physically, someone definitely doesn’t need to be rich, with their own house and three cars before they get into a relationship. However, they’re probably not ready for a serious relationship if they’re couch surfing and they don’t have a job.
17. He doesn’t stop trying to make you happy
It seems to happen often these days that after couples have been together for a little while, the romance seems to wear off a little bit. It’s so important that your partner (and you) doesn’t stop trying to keep that spark alive and keep trying to impress you and make you happy. Whether it’s a regular date night, or a random bouquet of flowers, or a sweet text message. There are so many simple ways to keep it going throughout the years.
If you’re wanting some new ideas for date night, check out this Mega List of Budget Friendly Date Night Ideas!
18. He accepts you as you are
This means he loves you just the way you are in your raw form. Flaws and all. You feel like you can be your true, genuine self around him without having to alter or change how you look or act. Being accepted is something everyone needs from their significant other.
19. He doesn’t play mind games
Mind games are the worst! This means no lying, no gaslighting, no manipulation, no guessing games, no guilt trips, no passive aggressive attitudes, none of it! Mind games are ugly and they’re mean. But, sometimes people don’t know they’re doing these things. So you can definitely bring it to their attention, and then assertively set a boundary that you won’t tolerate that behavior.
20. He KNOWS you
This means that he knows you down to your core. He knows your values, what’s important to you, what you like and what you hate, what your passions are, your goals in life, your secrets and your insecurities. He knows your soul.
A really fun way to get to know more about each other, whether you’ve been together for 10 days or 10 years, is to Ask Each Other These 99 Questions!
21. He’s Your Friend AND Your Lover
It’s important to have more than just intimacy in a relationship, there needs to be a friendship there as well. You want your partner to be the one you come to when you’re sad, when you’re excited, when you need advice, and even when you’re bored. This is going (hopefully) be someone who sticks by your side for the rest of your life. You’re going to want them to be your BEST friend.
What do you think of these signs he’s the one? Would you add any to the list?
Remember, just because someone doesn’t meet every one of these criteria doesn’t mean they aren’t the one for you. NOBODY is perfect. No one will check all the boxes. But it’s up to you to decide which boxes are the most important to you.